Tuesday, March 31, 2009

how is it that i can taste my tears and not my laughter?


Sir said...

This post asks the question I asked myself. Why do we never search to find why we are happy but always attempt to explain our sadness? People search for reasons why, but some people are just sad, and sometimes all people are sad. It's not wrong, it should not be "fixed" (extreme cases aside)

In America we have a reliance on prescription drugs. I don't think the populace should want to be balanced, for the most part we need to hear and feel" the shrillest highs and lowest lows with the windows down..." We're not all that messed up, for most of us, the chemistry and alchemy we embrace are as artificial as the illegal drugs we take to induce euphoria.

The ups and downs are where the stories come from. And what do we have if we don't have stories?

And at the end of the day, none of this explains our happiness.

anne artist said...

i was watching the show iconoclasts on the sundance channel. i don't know if you ever see it. a comment was made that we have lost the sense of community in this country. i agree.

and where does community come from? stories.

instead, we keep focused on living our lives as if we are images in a magazine. and those images don't feel, they consume.

and we are consumed by that which we consume.

i agree with you. somehow, actually feeling our lives is not regarded favorably.

within me is the sadness of loss of community. loss of stories that connect rather than tear us apart.

as one who feels, i feel the tearing. i reach out but i am not sure who is out there.

Sir said...

The best part of a story is the idea that it relates to people. It's universal. You would think that in a medicated, standardized consumer-culture, that maybe stories would have a more resounding affect. What is told is more universal because people are more similar.

But instead, the way we live allows us only to embrace the fantastic. We can't relate to stories we are told. The characters are not real, they seem to serve only as an escape. They are not a compliment, or a voice to follow.

I wonder what is in store for the community and for stories and art and feeling. I think it's a religion. It may live in hiding, but belief can't die.

Within me is sadness because I'm a member of this torn apart society. I Stand Counted with the medication and consumption. I am not any different from anyone. I have no change, no answers just a wish for escape.

anne artist said...

i wonder if we will end up as if we were in a heinlein story....visiting with people holographically.

i like your point about the fantastic. these stories are rather hard to follow into the day to day. i most probably never be a super-heroine nor have to slay aliens yet because i lived through each day, i am a super-heroine. each time i actually look at the full moon or listen to another person.

life has taken me away from a lot of consuming. and therefore into isolation. i cook my meals and sew and knit and read.....i still live in the world of the hand. yet, i realize that more and more, in order to connect, i will do that through a computer screen.

i mourn for our lost stories, grieve that people just don't get together in a noncommercial setting and talk with one another. that our stories are so often about division rather than universality.

it seems to bother me more and more and i don't know what to do about it.

Sir said...

Connection through a computer screen seems to be a fantastic idea on the surface.

However, the cloak of anonymity allows one to drop the mask/shield of consumerism and division and express thought with feeling and without having to worry about the ramifications feeling our lives.

It basically is real science fiction. Like space travel was and holograms are still.

As for what to do about the lack of connection.. you have already created a forum for questioning. People found you and question together because of you. Some seem to do out of loneliness, others do it for fun, and others may do it for reasons I can't relate to. Regardless a group takes one idea and then moves it... Most of the time without even realizing they are building atop of each other.

Think of yourself as the foundation to a few group thoughts. You are joining the community together in a way you fear we are losing. You are preventing what you fear, through a science-fiction medium that has become reality.

As for this "reality", I love being able to hide behind an image that is not me. It offers me a moment to be truthful and express what I'm too afraid to say in person. Those fears can come from my thoughts, or my questions. But here, as far removed from me as possible, I feel the freedom to be me. I'm more of an image in real life than through pseudonym.

Only one person who knows me, knows me. Other's happen to stumble by, and I'm thankful people take the time to listen to my private ramblings. It makes me feel less alone.

anne artist said...

thank you for this and for your insights. i have been grateful for the blog and for those, including you, who comment. it enlarges my world.

for me, the internet can be a seductive medium. there is an edit function, unlike in real life. and i become someone's image of me, which in the case of anne artist, is a collaboration i enjoy. yet, i could be someone quite different than i present.

anne and i have a lot in common. but yet, she is a character. and i am character, actually, as well.

if we have that one person who sees us, validates us, does not demand that we be other than who we are, who can stand next to us and walk alongside......that is huge.

i love what you said about stories......that the ups and downs are where they come from.

i am not sure why we think life should be easy. and then we are disappointed when it is not. yet, it is also effortless...paradoxically.

once again, thank you for this conversation.